Dear Evolving Woman,

​

I know what it feels like to reach a place so dark that even one more step feels like too much.

 

You may be so tired in a way sleep can’t fix.

 

You may feel as though life has taken so much from you that there is nothing left to give.

 

You may be smiling around other people while quietly wondering how much longer you can keep pretending you are okay.

 

I have been in that place.

 

I know what it is like to feel as though the world would keep moving without me.

 

I know what it is like to carry pain so heavy that being here starts to feel harder than leaving.

 

I also know how lonely it is when no one seems to notice how close you are to breaking.

 

I wish someone had looked at me then and said what I am saying to you now:

 

Please stay.

 

Stay through this hour.

 

Stay through this night.

 

Stay even if all you can do is breathe, cry, and keep your body in the room.

 

You have no big decision to make about the rest of your life tonight.

 

You only need to get through this moment.

 

Then the next one.

 

One small piece of time at a time.

 

I know that may sound small compared with what you are carrying.

 

But when life feels unbearable, small is enough.

 

Drink some water.

 

Sit somewhere safer.

 

Move away from anything you could use to hurt yourself.

 

Call someone you can trust and say, “I am having a hard time staying safe, and I need you with me.”

 

You deserve help before things get worse.

 

You deserve support even when you can’t explain everything clearly.

 

You deserve to be taken seriously.

 

Please hear this from someone who has known that darkness: the way you feel right now is not the whole truth about your life.

 

Pain can make the future look empty.

 

It can tell you that nothing will change, no one will care, the pain won’t stop and you have already reached the end of your story.

 

Pain can sound very convincing.

 

But pain is speaking from this moment.

 

It can’t see the people you have not met, the peace you have not felt, the mornings you have not lived, or the version of you who may one day look back and feel grateful that you stayed.

 

You are still important, even when you feel forgotten.

 

You are still loved, even when you can’t feel it.

 

You still belong here, even when your life looks nothing like you hoped it would.

 

Your presence has touched people in ways you may never fully know.

 

A child may remember the way you made them feel safe.

 

A friend may still carry something kind you said years ago.

 

Someone may be stronger because you once sat beside them when they were hurting.

 

And even beyond what you have given others, your life matters because it is yours.

 

You already have value before you help anyone, fix anything, or prove how strong you are.

 

You matter while you are tired.

 

You matter while you are lost.

 

You matter while you are asking for help.

 

There is no shame in needing someone to help carry you through this part.

 

Strength is not suffering alone until you break.

 

Strength can look like sending one message, making one call, walking into a hospital, talking to a therapist or telling the truth out loud.

 

So please, let someone come close to the pain.

 

Let someone know how you are feeling.

 

Let someone sit with you.

 

Let someone help you stay through this.

 

And if the first person fails to understand, reach for another.

 

Keep reaching out until someone hears you.

 

I can’t promise that tomorrow will fix everything.

 

It didn’t work that way for me.

 

But I can tell you that feelings change, even the ones that swear they never will.

 

This night is not your whole life.

 

This pain is not your name.

 

This moment is not where your story has to end.

 

I know you are tired.

 

I have been there more times than I would like to count.

 

I know one more day may feel impossible.

 

So, forget the whole day for now.

 

Give yourself one more breath.

 

One more minute.

 

One more phone call.

 

One more chance for the help you need to reach you.

 

Please stay long enough to meet the woman you are still becoming.

 

She is waiting for you on the other side of this moment.

 

And she will be so grateful that, when the darkness asked you to leave, you chose to stay.

​

With Love,

​

Maya Ellis

Evolving Womanhood